Parkinson's Boy

Apologies for the delay in this Post, but here it is;

A decision I made early on was that I wasn't going to become "Parkinson's Boy". By that, I meant that for as long as I could, I wasn't going to lead a life defined and controlled by my Parkinsons. As far as I was concerned it was an unfriendly squatter, one I intended not to give any more than the necessary attention.

It was my Carter Hayes. 

And with that resolution as firmly fixed as my New Year ones, and with determination oozing from every pore, I also decided not to get involved in Parkinson's groups. Anything to do with PD I was going to avoid.

I had made my mind up and nothing was going to change it.

However, not everyone agreed. Specifically the wife. I knew I had a cunning opponent, who I had learned from extensive experience, was well versed in getting her own way, doing what was right for me.

But why was I being so stubborn? 

There were several reasons, but one was more important than the others. Denial. If I didn't think about it, if I didn't get to know other sufferers, if I simply refused to give it space in my life, it didn't exist. True to my gender, I unconsciously believed that if I ignored it, it would go away.

Problem solved. 

That wasn't the only reason of course. I didn't want people's pity. I didn't want to be treated differently. For good or bad. I just wanted to be me. I had told most people I knew my diagnosis, and that was the end of it I hoped.

I was of course being oversensitive and a bit ridiculous.  No one I knew changed towards me. In the main, they accepted my diagnosis and left it at that. Which is exactly what I wanted. It helped that my symptoms weren't particularly obvious.

So I still go to the pub with friends and no one questions whether I should be drinking, the occasional curry is still being consumed and we all still bicker over politics.

I also think being a contrary bastard, doesn't help. As soon as someone starts telling me what is best for me, or starts loudly pontificating on politics, by my nature I end up taking the opposite position. I can't help myself. It's not because I don't have an opinion, usually I do, but pompous certainty combined with moral virtue signalling irritates me no end.

Still, it's better than giving them a slap, which is what I am frequently tempted to do.

So when something comes along and says "you are now changed, your life is going to become in some ways defined by this change", I will say "sod it, not a chance, go away", or words to that effect. But perhaps less polite ones. 

The wife of course wasn't going to let me completely off the hook. She had been hard at work with Dr Google and discovered some things. One of which was the importance of intensive, aerobic exercise of at least 40 minutes per day for a minimum of 4 days per week. So down to the gym I trotted to develop a proper workout. The staff were very helpful and understood what I needed, and came up with a program. Unfortunately, this took up over two hours of a day to complete in full.

And she also identified a Nueurphysiotherapist to give me a range of exercises to ward off common PD problems to do with issues such as balance, posture and flexibility.

All good stuff and of real benefit to me, but as the wife had decided that both sets of exercises had to be done 7 days a week, what with work I was finding that my normal day was taken over almost completely by all this exercise.

And of course, all this splendid exercise sucked me into a life I felt was increasingly dominated by my condition. I am by nature a bit lazy, a do tomorrow what I could do today type person, but I was becoming what I didn't want; Parkinson's boy. Of course, there was a dichotomy here, if I didn't spend time doing these exercises my condition would develop at a faster rate and physically my condition would take over my life earlier. If I did do all these exercises, my condition would develop more slowly, but I would have to accept becoming Parkinson's boy, however reluctantly.

Obviously, there was really only one option to take, I'm not stupid. So I still go to the gym and it works. If I fail to do proper exercise for a period, my mind fogs up. I slow down. It's almost as if I suddenly age, I get tired more easily and emotionally I get more depressed and stressed. Exercise is neuroprotective, there are various studies that have shown this and when I restart exercising almost immediately I feel the benefits. My mind clears and my mood is more stable. The world seems less grey, less foggy even, it's more vivid and intense.

The benefits are real. Tangible. And this tangibility helps encourage and maintain the exercise regime.

I have however made some changes. Seven days a week was just too much and the studies done on this issue didn't support this as a requirement. So I now do five days a week and life seems more normal and less stressed.

I even go to the odd Parkinson's event! Balance in everything, Parkinson's boy has been delayed.

I'm still me. Of course, that may be seen as a mixed blessing!