Non, je ne regrette rien?

About 17 years ago, at an early music course I bumped into an elderly pupil of my wife. He was a pleasant, kind individual who loved to corner you and give you his life history. He could have been a bore but wasn't;

"You know the saying 'no one dies wishing they had worked later on a Friday', well it's true. I wrecked my life, selling my soul to the company and I wake up everyday and regret it. 

It destroyed my marriage and alienated my son's who now have nothing to do with me".

I was sad for him. I smiled sympathetically, although Tbh there has always been little chance of me becoming a company man, I'm fundamentally too lazy.

”I worked all hours, weekends, I was forever away on company business. I was a fool"

Clearly he was expecting me to ask, why? So I did.

"Because when they made me redundant, I found out that a co-worker who simply worked his hours, was only earning £2k less then me. Do you know I destroyed my family and sold my soul for £2k, what an idiot!"

When you are given a life altering diagnosis, like Parkinson's, you soon get around to re-assessing your future.

I had plans for my retirement. I was going to do voluntary work at a local charity shop. Take up hobbies. Like furniture restoration and start researching my family tree.

Then my diagnosis happened and time seemed suddenly to be running out. I'm not saying I'm about to die, but my physical capacity to do these things is time limited.

I felt, and still feel angry at the loss of my planned future. 

I feel I've been cheated. My future stolen. After 40yrs of work, I looked forward to a new life, useful but stress free. 

Giving something back to the community as well as developing new interests.

Instead I will be a parasite on others. Dependent and not useful, and I'm angry about it.

But was I also a fool? Ok, I didn't sell my soul to my employer, I rarely worked more than my contractual hours. But there are many other ways of being a 'fool'.

And having to live with regrets.

There are no guarantees in life and always planning for tomorrow and not grabbing the opportunities of today, risks never doing the things you want to do.

Grab today's opportunities, don't let them go to waste.

You my not get a second chance.

Within 2 years of the conversation with my wife's pupil, he was dead. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer too late. 

I don't know if he was reconciled with his sons before he died. But I suspect he died regretting the Fridays he worked all those extra hours.

But maybe I'm being a bit unrealistic. Families bring responsibilities. You can't just swan off doing only what you fancy. Time is a rare commodity and at least I have a good relationship with my son. 

We enjoy spending time together.

Maybe in life regrets are inevitable. But instead of focusing on what you regret, you should perhaps look towards what you can still do.

And grab those existing opportunities. Even with Parkinson's, there is still a lot you can do, even if only for a few years.

Je ne regrette rien? Perhaps not.